Fabled Kari    

Prof. Life    

theStud3nt    

8 October 2022

Moving Back..Moving On

Thoughts

In two months, I will turn 25 years old. A whole quarter of a century. My Frontal cortex will be 98.9% developed, and I can rent a car without those pesky underage fees. I still don't own a credit card, but whatevs. (No, I own a credit card; I've just never used it, so I'm pretty sure it got closed. which is worse than never having a credit card???).

I have a few changes in my lifestyle I want to make now that I am on the edge of becoming a fully fledged adult. (Meaning from 18-24 you are a fledging of an adult.)

The first change is letting people in. I don't let new people in very easily. I am loyal to my loved ones, and so I feel like I don't need anyone else as long as I have my familiar few. Well, over the years, My familiar few has grown distant for one reason or another, and while I still have many friends I can count on. Those in my circle who know of and care about my day-to-day activities have suddenly grown exponentially smaller. Well, not smaller. My circle has shifted.

Now that I am in a new environment (I moved from New York to Texas to intern at Studio 713 for 6 months) I am surrounded by new people, People I will be spending an incredible amount of time with. This is an excellent opportunity to expand my circle and gain new connections. 

But I'm scared, and I have social anxiety. Well, so does everyone else. 

So I'm gonna do it anyways. 

SONG

I actually don't have a song this month. I have more thoughts.

I am a die-hard Christian -WAIT... Live-Hard Christian. I love God and Jesus, and I would go as far as to say I am a Christian artist. HOWEVER, I feel like my next two mixtapes ("Chapter 2" and "Chapter 3" ) are about to hurt people's feelings. 

I don't wanna get into too much yet, but just know that God has a plan, and I am simply a vessel to allow his work to be done. I am human, which means I sin. I have a story everyone does. So I plan to tell my story as it happens. 

I have always felt compelled to share my emotions and mental state through songs or letters. I mean, I remember once, when I was 8, I wrote a letter to My cousin Jamal saying I really did not appreciate him kicking me out of his room when his friends came over to the house because we played the same games they would play when I was excommunicated for my age. 

I also used to write letters to my mom explaining why I felt a particular butt-whooping was not necessary and out of anger, not love. My mom was not thrilled about the letter, but it got her to back off for a bit. 

In my most recent Situation-ship, I used to type out my thoughts and let them read it while I was in the room. I find that by writing down my feelings and then delivering them, I avoid a ton of anxiety. I know what I said. I had time to think about what I said, and most importantly, it invited open and honest communication. 

In the middle of a conversation, Like an IMPORTANT conversation, I find myself surfing over thoughts and points I want to bring up. It's unorganized and chaotic. Once the conversation was over, I not only neglected to say things I wanted but also said things I did not mean to say. 

To avoid all that, I write letters and songs. 

Challenge

I challenge anyone reading this to write a letter. Come Clean about something that's been on your mind for a while. Give the person that letter and let them know that you are doing this in order to grow closer. Honesty is always the best policy. (most of the time. More on THAT later)

EXCUSES

So why did it take me so long to move back to Houston? I moved ON to Houston once I secured an opportunity to further my career. So I didn't move back; I moved on.  I like my lifestyle in New York. Hella things to do, Hella people around, and Hella weed everywhere. It's awesome! I liked being able to get everything I wanted by walking outside. I was free to be who I wanted and dress how I wanted, and date who I wanted without negative comments and haters killing my buzz. Not that I can't do those things in Texas, it's just I will have to hear the comments. It doesn't annoy me as much now that I am older because I know any and all comments are being made out of love. I just fear that I may appreciate the love from a distance more than I will now that the love will be within shouting distance. 

Lord, please give me patience and humility.

 

BLESSINGS

I am so so blessed to be back with my family. It's been six years since I left for New York and watching all my nibblings grow up is already proving to be the highlight of coming back. I'm also blessed to have the support of my family while I pursue my music. I would not be able to fully focus on this internship if I had to worry about basic necessities such as rent/housing, food, a car, emotional support, ETC.  I am so appreciative of the opportunity to rejoin my family as a more confident and humble person after living on my own for 6 years. While it WILL be an adjustment, God won't give me anything I can't handle. 

 

Fabled Kari   

Prof. Life   

theStud3nt   

8 September  2022

That time I was homeless

Thoughts

Over the last couple of months, I'been hearing here and there about my blog. Family and friends mentioned to me that they actually used to read this thing. I haven't posted in several months because I... 

There's no real reason I stopped. It's a cycle. I inhale a gust of inspiration. I have an Idea. I get excited to make BIG plans, plan, and prepare and spend money on this plan, and then as soon as I start to see a hint of real progress, I stop. Is it a fear of failure? Fear of success? IDK bro. But I am back for now. Tell your friends. Look out for theStud3nt's blog where she talks about... what do I talk about on here? Life as a Christian who is a struggling artist, I guess. 

ATM (at the moment), it is 12:27 AM September 9th. My goal was to post by midnight on the 8th so I could start the blog by saying, "I turn 25, 3 months from today." I am late. Obviously. So I turn 25 in 3 months minus a day. I said I would post on the 8th, but I'm posting on the 9th. BUT I'M POSTING. 

I find myself too often in situations where if my plans do not go the way I expected or if I disappoint myself even slightly, I rage quit. BUT NOT THIS TIME. I am tired,  I'm typing my thoughts onto my page. I am putting away my insecurities and doubt and continuing to do everything I want. Even if I haven't posted in a year!

Song 

I want you guys to take a listen to this song called "Vienna" by Billy Joel. The lyric that resonates within my soul ATM is "Slow down; you're doing fine."

My friends FREQUENTLY tell me, "Kari, you are so hardworking," and BLAH BLAH. Meanwhile, I don't feel like I'm working hard enough. 

I know that I may work hard. Maybe even harder than the average American Young Adult. But I don't feel that way. I feel like I haven't progressed in since I was 15. I feel like if I don't work at least 4 times harder, I will die penniless and alone. I also feel like I'm right. I double also feel that if I continue on this stressful path, I'll die of a heart attack and never be able to reap the benefits of my persistence. I think I am mostly right about that last one.

I need to slow down because I'm doing fine. You are too! Don't stop working hard but take time to congratulate yourself on a job well done. You are alive and doing your best. If you are not doing your best, then start doing your best. 

Challenge

I challenge you to listen to "Vienna" while reading the lyrics. Then take a moment to congratulate yourself for making it where you are right now because that was no easy feat. 

Excuse

My excuse for not posting in a year is not a valid excuse. It was valid for a week and then two weeks and MAYBE even three weeks. After a MONTH, my excuse was so old it spoiled. My excuse was, "I can just do it tomorrow"

A YEAR of "I'll just do it tomorrow" 

A whole FRIGGIN YEAR of "I can do it tomorrow."

There is almost ALWAYS a deeper meaning behind putting something off. When I said, "I'll do it tomorrow," what I meant was, "Nobody reads it anyways, so what's the point of doing it now when I can do (insert literally anything else) instead?

I felt (and honestly still feel) that people would negatively judge me for my blog, wouldn't read my blog, or read it and say they like it when in reality, they talk bad about it behind my back. My feelings are valid. People will do all the things I am scared they will do. The only way for these "bad" things to never happen is for me never to write again. They got me for a year this time. ("they" being the bad thought in my head). Time to try again.

Blessings

OOOOOK! Blessings have been on full tilt recently. I am so Blessed for my friends up in New York as they shaped me to be the young adult I am now. I am most especially Blessed by my friends Luciana and Josiah because I recently was homeless and they took me in for an entire month. I was homeless in the most liberal sense of the word. I did not have a home or room to call my own, but I do have family and friends so I always had a bed and food and support. 

When my apartment lease was up, my landlord did not want to renew the lease for the apartment I had spent the last 3 years. I chose to bounce around between friends. I felt a strong urge to bounce around.

God was nudging me somewhere, and I didn't know where I was going, but I knew that I did not need to find another place yet. I was told to trust and lean on my friends for a while, so I did! about two weeks into my "Homelessness," I prayed and whatnot and then applied to yet another internship for audio production and actually got it! I finally got into some sort of audio engineering program, but the program was in Texas. 

So here I am! Back in Texas, baby! All Blessed up and ready to start a new chapter in my life. 

Speaking of new chapters, Chapter 2 will be coming out sometime before 2022 ends. Chapter 3 will come out before 2023 ends. Chapter 4 will come out before 2024 ends, and so on and so forth.

 

WORKS CITED (kind of)

In this post I mentioned:

"Vienna"- Song by Billy Joel

 

Fabled Kari  

Prof. Life  

theStud3nt  

18 June 2021

Rebellion 

Howdy class,

Thoughts

Everyone should go through a rebellious phase. I think you should enter this phase a couple of times throughout life. I'm not saying to go out there and ruin your life with drugs or sitting on the couch depressed all day. I mean a small amount of time where you challenge your resolve. I've given up on music more times than I can count. Just like the mice in my apartment, I never learn. I always come back when I smell a new concept forming in my head.

Every time I come back to music, I feel a rush flow through my veins. I feel reunited with a piece of myself I had let go of. The only reason I let go of my music from time to time is that I love it so much. 

You know when your Mom upsets you and you're like "ugh leave me alone forever!" But you don't really mean it? And then you do the thing your Mom told you to do and it helped and you know you should say "You were right Mom" but instead you silently appreciate it and mumble "thanks." That's my relationship with music. Sometimes I get rebellious and I fight against it even though I know it's good for me. Maybe it's a pride thing. Maybe it's time I grow up.

Song/Lyrics

Doo Wop (That Thing) -Ms. Lauryn Hill

"The second verse is dedicated to the men 
More concerned with his rims and his Timbs than his women 
Him and his men come in the club like hooligans 
Don't care who they offend, poppin' yang (like you got yen!) 
Let's stop pretend, the ones that pack pistols by they waist men 
Cristal by the case men, still in they mother's basement 
The pretty face men claiming that they did a bid men 
Need to take care of they three or four kids 
And they face a court case when the child support late 
Money taking and heart breaking, now you wonder why women hate men 
The sneaky, silent men 
The punk, domestic violence men 
Quick to shoot the semen, stop acting like boys and be men 
How you gonna win when you ain't right within? 
How you gonna win when you ain't right within? 
How you gonna win when you ain't right within? 
Come again, come again 
Come again, come again"

 

There is a lot we can unpack here but I want to talk about this line

"Don't care who they offend, poppin' yang (like you got yen!) "

Lauryn Hill uses a device called a Homophone; "A word that is pronounced the same as another word but differs in meaning, and may differ in spelling. The words may be spelled the same, such as rose (flower) and rose (past tense of “rise”), or differently, such as carat, caret, and carrot, or to, two, and too"(Rap Genius).

She slightly stresses the "in" sound in "yen" To make it sound like "yen" and "yin." "Yin and Yang" is an Ancient Chinese philosophical concept relating to opposites and how they work together.  "Popping Yang" means to talk trash.  

Hill is stating that these men who act like hooligans, do not care about you they offend when they talk trash about other people be it about, religion, financial stability, how they dress, or how they speak. These men talk hard but in reality, they don't even have enough money (Yen- Japanese currency) to take care of their kids.  

Challenge

Write 8 bars using at least two Homophones. The more Homophones the better. 

Excuses

I had the excuse a while ago that I didn't have enough obligations. I didn't have a job, I was in school but it wasn't challenging me enough to get out of bed early. To challenge that excuse, I got myself two 20 hr/week internships. Now I am forcing myself to require more of my day and forcing my brain to remain active.

I love music obviously, but It can not be the only thing I think about 25/8. I tried it, it's overwhelming. 

As counterintuitive as it may seem, giving myself hard obligations, has helped me make more time for my music. 

Blessings

This week, one of my best friends of almost 5 years, has moved on in her life and left the city. Two other friends are also moving out of the city in the very near future and it's a little heartbreaking for me. I love the memories that we have made and the person they have helped shape me to become. I feel blessed to have had such good friends and I am happy to see them move on. Seeing them continue with their lives is inspiring and rejuvenated my passion to continue going forward. I will miss you Youko!

 

Works Cited (Kind of)

In this post I mentioned:

• Rap Genius - https://genius.com/2906357?
  • A website with lyric analysis and analysis tools. 
• Lauren Hill- One of the greatest rappers and MC's alive today. A great inspiration of mine.
• "Doo Wop (That Thing)" -Ms. Lauryn Hill

 

 

Fabled Kari 

Prof. Life 

theStud3nt 

8 April 2021

4 months ago today, I turned 23 years old

Howdy class,

Thoughts

So it's been a month since I last posted. Not like anyone really reads this anyway but to those who do read (Olivier, Mami, sometimes Daddy) I'm back and ready to write for ya. I got the 'vid and had to quarantine for two weeks. (That's not the reason I haven't been posting but I thought I'd let ya know). I didn't have too many symptoms and I'm fine now so don't freak out about it if you're just finding out about it here. I ended up quarantine at my friend's house because she ended up giving it to me and I didn't want my roommates to get it so we left to her place for 12 days of Covid. On the 12th day of Covid, the doctor said to me, you're Covid freeeeeeeeeee. So we went back to my place. Two days later, all three of my roommates tested positive for Covid. Funny, I know. What are my thoughts this week? Life's a funny B***th. 

Lyrics/Song

I am going to freestyle a song right now I am titling "The 12 days of Covid." Ready?????

On the 1st day of Covid, my best friend came to meeeeee. Covid might be with me. 

On the 2nd day of Covid, we went rapid testing. Blueline means Covid-19 

On the 3rd day of Covid, I packed up all my things, for a 10-day quarantine 

On the 4th day of Covid, I thought we might be free. PCR said Covid-19

On the 5th day of Covid, my Best friend cried to me. I can't smell a thiiiiing

On the 6th day of Covid, I waited anxiously for my symptoms to hit me

On the 7th day of Covid, we binged AOT. I effing HATE Gabi.

On the 8th day of Covid, I still don't feel badly, but my friend can't taste her own cooking

On the 9th day of Covid, I miss my Mami and I get her to order uber eats.

On the 10th day of Covid, we watched Ron and Harry make fun of Hermione.

On the 11th day of Covid, I started going crazy but my friend could smell finally 

On the 12th day of Covid, the doctor said to me, you're Covid freeeeeeeeeee.

Now I'm home and bored as ish so I started writing. 

Boom Freestyled!!!!!! 

There's a lot to unpack here so I will let you put the music where you think it goes. 

 

Challenge

Don't get Covid again. 

I know this sounds pretty easy but again, ALL three of my roommates have Covid soooo....

 

Excuses 

Well, I had COVID-19 soo....

But now I don't soo ....

 

Blessing

There are so many blessings I could write about; one being I survived the 'Vid without any symptoms. I was one of those asymptomatic. Either that or I never had it despite being locked in a room for 12 days with a person who DEFINATELY had it. I feel beyond blessed that my friend, my roommates, and I am ok despite contracting Covid. I never had a doubt in my mind that we would make it, however, it is still freighting to be actively involved in the pandemic. It's like the difference between badmouthing players in the stands of a sport you can't even play  (Like American football or basketball) and suddenly being in the middle of the game with no warning and having others badmouth you for being on the court. 

 

 

Works Cited (Kinda)

In this post I mentioned:

• Covid-19 also know as "the 'Vid."-  Some it's fake, some say it's gonna be the cause of real-life "Walking Dead." I say we had it and we survived.
• "The Walking Dead"-  I just mentioned it up there cuz it's like the most mainstream Zombie show I know. But, it looks scary so I've never seen it. Don't come at me. 
• 12 days of Christmas song - I don't take credit for the beat or the melody or blah blah blah. we all know I didn't come up with the actual song.  I DO take credit for my off-the-dome freestyle of lyrics. Yes, it was a true freestyle. I didn't go back and edit it. It took like 5 minutes to write.
• American football- NOT to be confused with Futbol, also known as Soccer. 
• BasketBall - You know what this is. 

Cheers, 

Kari

 

Fabled Kari 

Prof. Life 

theStud3nt 

3 March 2021

Giving Up

Thoughts

They say that failure is when you give up. People who never "made it" simply stopped trying. They got tired of the rejection, tired of the work with nothing to show for it, tired of the anxiety that comes with having big goals. Or maybe they grew complacent. Maybe they got comfortable. Maybe they found something more valuable than "making it." I wouldn't know and I don't want to find out. I have big goals. Goals of creating a university that people can attend for free to develop their crafts and arts. I have goals of going triple platinum. I have goals of being in at least one blockbuster movie and at least one 3-5 season tv show. I want to create my own Marvel Universe with tens of separate stories that really tie together after 10 years. I want to pick my nephew up from school in a limo so that all of his friends can fit in and his rivals can be jealous. I want my family to go to fancy balls and be called "Lady" and call men "Lord"  because that's what rich people in shows I watch get to be called. I wanna surprise my fans even when I REALLY don't feel like it. I want to be called out for allowing money to change me so that I give a lot of it away to foster care systems. Then I go back to the old me and make a comeback album that goes viral. I wanna be on "Ellen" and "Wendy Williams" and "Wild n' Out" before Nick Cannon really gets fired, and show "MTV my crib." But we don't always get what we want. Wanting these things isn't enough. I have to earn them. I have to do the work I don't want to do. I have to work through depression and anxiety, I have to miss birthdays and eat Ramen for 3 weeks so I can buy a better plugin Fl Studio that will make my vocals sound a little better. I have to pull all-nighters trying to figure out why there's a delay in my vocals all of a sudden. I have to learn what latency is. I have to learn why vocals need compression. I have to do all of this and still have faith in my music. I have to fail and keep going and fail again. I have to think about the possibility of giving up and just becoming a teacher or something because that's what you can do if you have a bachelor's. Then I have to look forward and decide if I'm ok with the regret. Am I satisfied with how far I've come? Can I go home with my head held high? Am I ok with the regret of not continuing? I'm not ok with it. So I guess I can't give up just yet.

Lyric/song

"Maybe life sucks, but it's not so bad."

I have a song called "Not so Bad." The idea behind the song is that when things are really hard, I mean REALLY hard, maybe it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be. I start remembering when things were less suckish, I remember when other people were going through suckish times and I was cheering them on from my less suckish sideline. The truth is, life is amazing! Life is a gift that many of us take for granted because of the sucky period were going through. Being alive in itself is a blessing and I find myself forgetting that when I see that no one is reading my blog or my music isn't sounding professional enough for me to release. Since no one reads this anyway, I can be as honest as I want. I rarely think about giving up. Instead, I go into a nervous spiral because  I'm realizing that it is going to take SO MUCH longer to "make it" than I anticipated. I hear amazing songs from new artists and I get angry because they are passing me while I'm staying stagnant. I can't go on Tic Tok because I'm just reminded of how many talented people there are in the world willing to do the work I'm not doing.  and the work I am doing, there are people so much better than me and younger than me, and prettier or more good looking than me and it's infuriating. I feel like a child in that regard. I find myself saying "Don't worry about other people and the journey of other artists. I used to think I was so special because I decided at 9 years old I wanted to do music. Now I'm 23 and that doesn't really mean jack. I'm an average person with an average big dream with average skills in my field. The only thing that can change that is more effort. I'm not giving up, so the least I can do is put more effort in.

Challenge

My challenge is to watch Tic Tok without getting upset. I want to go back to appreciating talent instead of resenting it because I don't have the courage to post.  

Excuses

My excuse this week was about the fact that my songs are not coming out the way I want them to. I still have a lot to learn when it comes to audio engineering. In order to Challenge this excuse, I will watch a plethora of youtube videos of others who are better than me so that I can learn and begin closing the gap between myself and my musical peers.

Blessings

This week, I am blessed to be officially done with my English Bachelor's courses. I am Graduating Cum Laude and with a 3.64 GPA. At first, I wasn't too proud of the feat as my true goal is music, however, I need to take my wins where I can get them. I worked hard and I didn't quit. I got good grades and it shows. Regardless of the standards, I put on myself, graduating is something to be proud of.

 

 

Works Cited (Kinda)

In the post I mentioned :

• Marvel Universe- The entire ten-year build-up was GENIUS. Nuff said
• Ellen- as in the talk show featuring Ellen Degeneres
• Wendy Williams- as in the talk show featuring Wendy Williams
• MTV Cribs- the show where celebs show you around their house and say " Hi I'm INSERT NAME, welcome to my crib"
• Wild n' out- Literally the best hip hop show in existence as long as Nick Cannon, DC Young Fly, and Justina Valentine is there. 
• Misc- Don't come for me if I didn't mention you. Work harder and maybe next time I'll remember your name.

Fabled Kari   

Prof. Life   

theStud3nt   

25 February 2021

The Funny Thing about Restriction

Thoughts 

Here's a fun fact about me: At the age of  16, I had the privilege of becoming a drum teacher to elementary and middle school students at my church. (Whaddup Holy Family!) Well, when I was teaching, I quickly learned that restriction was a key component to getting these kids Mass-ready. (Mass ready- when the student is able to play during a church) They want to hit EVERYTHING in the beginning. I mean picture this; You have one stick in each hand, you have 4 drum choices, 3 cymbal choices AND, each foot gets a pedal that makes ANOTHER sound. That's a lot of options. (9 to be exact) As exciting as it is, it can be equally as overwhelming. Like most things in life, I believe there needs to be balanced. Too many options lead to an overload in your brain and you go into this 'fight or flight or freeze' mode and all heck breaks lose. In my case, I shut down when there are too many options. I found that taking away options momentarily really helps. Going back to my days of teaching drumset, I only allowed my beginner students access to one drum, one foot, and one cymbal. That's it. Out of 9 options, you can only have 3. Act as if though the other 6 options do not exist. They stopped worrying about the other drums and started sounding like drummers. What's really funny is that the most advanced students ended up only really using 3 or 4 drums/cymbals throughout all of Mass, because that's all you really need to play some really gnarly stuff. 

 

Song/Lyric

"Restriction promotes creativity, while knowledge unlocks freedom"

- theStud3nt "Still Here"

 

I started this song in January of 2020. I remember when I was in acting school, I had to take this class called Film Genres and History. One of the coolest things I remember about this class was the Hays code. Back in the 1930s until the late 1960s, there was a strict and highly enforced set of guidelines regarding censorship. Long story short, the guidelines initially made it extremely difficult to be "creative" in movies. The code outlawed sex, interracial relationships, childbirth, criminals that were portrayed as heroes, etc. HOWEVER, these restrictions facilitated amazing creativity. Writers and actors and directors alike had to learn how to think outside of the box. They had to show childbirth through shadows and use words like "Expecting" instead of "pregnant." They had to convey sex without showing any skin, or explicit language. The film industry had to get witty and as a result, films grew in plot, complexity, and originality. There's no wonder "The golden age of film" was happening at the same time. See, restriction does promote creativity. Once the code ended in 1968, the Golden age died in 1969. Coincidence, I think NOT!

 

Excuses

My excuses get lamer and lamer. I got overwhelmed with my own goals and options of achieving my goals and decided to shut down for a few days. Fear not, because I gave myself restrictions in order to cope with my issue. As you know, I HATE posting. I wish I could say there's no excuse but there has to be because I'm STILL not doing it as I should.

Challenge

There are 9 social media platforms that I want to be engaged in. I am only going to focus on 3 or 4 for now. (Sound familiar?) This Website (including this blog and the Fable blog) Instagram/Facebook (They're basically the same at this point), Tik toc, and Soundcloud. 

Prayers

This week instead of Blessings, I am offering up my prayers. My family recently lost a family member and another family member is sick. Lord, I pray that you keep my family in your sights. I ask that you watch over Granny in your kingdom and give JJ and his family strength as he battles and recovers from his illness. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen

 

 

 

 

Works Cited (Kinda)

In this post I mentioned:

• The Hays code

Adebowale, Temi. How the Hays Code Censored Hollywood. 8 May 2020, www.menshealth.com/entertainment/a32290089/hollywood-hays-code/.

“Motion Picture Production Code.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 13 Feb. 2021, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motion_Picture_Production_Code#Creation_and_contents.

• The Golden Age of film

“The Golden Age of Hollywood / Useful Notes.” TV Tropes, tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/TheGoldenAgeOfHollywood. 

• Various different social media

 

 

Fabled Kari  

Prof. Life  

theStud3nt  

11 February 2021

Ghosting

Thought of the week

I'm not a great person. I'm not a horrible person, (I don't think so at least) but I'm not great either. I am so entitled and selfish, I ignore calls and text messages from the people I love as if life tomorrow is guaranteed. It took me almost two weeks to call my grandma back when I said I'd call her tomorrow. When I finally called my father after not speaking to him for a few weeks, I ended the conversation short because I "didn't feel like talking." I ghost people all the time because I get wrapped up in my own world. I haven't talked to my childhood best friend in months even though I know for a fact that she misses me. Why? because I take our friendship for granted. I assume she'll always be there. I assume my dad and my grandma will always be here. I feel really bad about not calling and failing to stay in touch with a lot of my family and friends, but I still make the same choices. I still put off calling and responding to text messages. I even ghosted this blog for a couple of weeks even though I know that this website is my best shot at reaching my goals. Why do I do this? As I said, I'm selfish and entitled. I know I need to work harder than I do now but I still don't. 

Well...that's not entirely true Kari. 

You're right Kari.

I have been working a little harder than I used to. I came back to the blog. Yeah, I left for a moment, but I came back. I called my grandma and my Dad and talked for 10 minutes instead of pushing it until "tomorrow." I responded to my text messages 8 days later instead of 9 days later. Obviously I can do better, but I've done worse before and I could do even worse than that.

What's my thought of the week? If I continue to dwell on the past and focus on what I "could" have done, I will struggle to do the things I "can" do now.  First thing on my list: write this blog.

Song/lyric of the week

I have a song called "Tragic Questions" that I wrote about some of the people I've dated or had feelings for in the past. The song is about me wanting to call it quits because I don't want to ruin our relationship. The longer you know someone, the more your own idea of the person fades, and the more the real person starts to show. You start picking up on true details, like how they aren't as fit as you initially thought them to be, or how they're weirdly funny when they're watching tv and making fun of the characters. Some of these things might even tick you off, but you ignore them anyway. Well, in my song (that you can listen to if you subscribe to my mailing list.) I say "Would it be tragic if I end it right here?" I'm asking because when most people break up, they don't stay friends or in each other's lives. It like I finally found someone I wanna hang out with and actually text back even when I'm in my ghosting mood (see thought of the week), and now you never wanna see me again because we didn't work out romantically? What the eff is that about? So before we break up or something bad happens, let's just end it and keep the positive memories we made. I rather us be in each other's lives. I don't wanna risk us falling apart. Now before you go and call me a coward for ending things before they could get bad, I also say "I'm toying with the idea, tell me it's a bad idea and I'll stay here." I acknowledge that it might be a bad idea. I let you know that I'm scared of the future and what it holds for us. I'm scared that once "I let you in" you won't stay. In this story, by the time I asked " would it be tragic if I end it right here?" I've already fallen for you. I hope you'll tell me it's a bad idea to end things. If not, that would be tragic. It's the reason I named the song "Tragic questions." 

Challenge of the week

Come back next week and brag about how you got things done.

Excuse of the week

"I'm not good at social media."

KARI! What are you talking about friend? Social media is part of the job now. You were born in 1997. This means you were born into the era of social media. You were alive and able when Youtube came out. You witnessed the rise and fall of myspace. Social media is in your blood buddy. Yes, there are advanced techniques and whatnot that you could stand to learn about tagging and algorithms and blah blah, but that doesn't mean you don't post at all.  You've been putting social media off since Mami said you could finally have Facebook.  It's not about posting once or twice, it's now about changing your thinking about social media. Social media is my kryptonite, but superman found a way around it. (He did, didn't he? ) Add to your challenge of the week. Add: "I will post."

Challenge of the week *edited

Come back next week and brag about how you got things done AND I will post.

Blessing of the week

I am blessed that I was able to come back to this blog. I was able to call my family members back and respond to my friend's text messages. I am blessed that I have people in my life that do not hesitate to help me out if I am in need. Thank you Jacob for supporting me this past week by the way. I truly appreciate it. I promise I'll text you back at some point. 

Most importantly, I am blessed that my mom calls me and sends me text messages every day even though I never respond. I want you to know that I feel better when I see your name pop up on my screen several times a day.

 

Cheers,

Kari

 

 Works Cited Kinda

In this post I mentioned:

• thestud3nt's "Tragic questions (Unreleased)- please subscribe to my mailing list and become a member to listen to the song. If you have tried and can not listen to it, I probably haven't figured out how to put the song on the website. It will be under the "music" tab
• DC COMICS Superman and the concept of Kryptonite- Please let me know if Superman has found a way around Kryptonite. It is vital that I find out.
• Facebook- I still use it so don't sue me or I'll stop using it. 
• Myspace- Honestly, you were my favorite form of social media. Perdition Production was and still is my FAVORITE content creator. The naruto Funny dub videos will forever be in my heart. I'm sure I'll bring this up again at some point.
• Youtube- The ultimate OP form of social media
• Naruto- only mentioned in "works cited" so calm down. 
• Perdition Production- If you still have access to your funny dub videos, PLEASE UPLOAD THEM TO YOUTUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks

 

Kari  1

Fabled Kari 

Prof. Life 

theStud3nt 

1/27/2021

I've decided on the heading
 

Thought of the Day

As you now know, I am working on myself constantly. I'm always thinking about how to be better and ways I can maximize my strengths and develop my faults. After every day or conversation where I felt my intentions weren't realized, I look back and try to figure out what I intended and why and where I feel I need to do better. Some call this anxiety but I think a little anxiety is good for the soul. Teaches you how to deal with the ish you can't change and how to change the things you ought to change. for example, Evey night I give myself a letter grade (no! not because I'm called theStud3nt now. I've been doing it for a while). Did I do basic things like take a shower and wash my face? Did I cook and resist the urge to rent spend money on Uber eats? How many hours did I spend on music? How many hours did I spend playing video games? Did I read my bible and talk to God today? Did I work out? How many cookies did you eat? How many glasses of water did you drink? How many beers? 

I ask myself different questions about my day and I try to come up with a grade of the day. Typically, I get B+ or A- if I find that I worked on music more hours than I relaxed. If there are still items I need to accomplish and it was a result of procrastination, the highest I can get is a B. I'm NOT saying to do this because I'm no doctor. But keeping a record of my days helps when I find myself slipping back into old sleep-all-day habits.  I remind myself that I HAVE been working and it DOES matter if I give up because I've come so far. Three steps forward and two steps back is STILL one step forward. So on one hand, I got some work done this week but I'm still procrastinating on some critical things in my life (Such as the rest of this blog). On the other hand, I think I have decided on this week's heading to be the official heading I use for these blogs. 

 

Works Cited

I referenced NOTHING. Can't reference when ya don't write anything now can ya?

 

theStud3nt

Prof. Fabled Kari

School of life

15 January 2021

Where I'm Supposed to Be

Thought of the week 

When I was growing up and really starting to get serious about music, my mom asked me if I would make music for free for the rest of my life if money were not an issue. Yes. In fact, I would pay someone for the rest of my life to allow me to make music if I could, and money was not an issue. The problem is, money is an issue and I have no real job. I haven’t had a job since I was laid off due to the Corona outbreak in March 2019 it’s almost been a year since I was laid off and honestly, I don’t wanna go back to work. I’ve been devoting my time to making and promoting music and I can’t see myself doing that If I have to work 30-40 hours a week at a restaurant an hour away from where I live.  I’ve made so much progress on my dreams from making a blog and website, to actively producing music and writing songs, to planing a virtual concert and 3 albums to be released this coming summer. YES! I said THREE ALBUMS. All at the same time. Everything is planned out and ready to go. So why do I feel like such a failure? I’m doing what I said I would do. I’m making music despite not making a single cent on it. I’m spending more money on promotion, and studio time, than I am spending on food and rent. Unemployment is keeping me from being homeless and my savings are quickly being drained so I can release these albums. I still feel like I’m missing something. I still find it hard to get out of bed sometimes and I panic about not having an income. I feel all of these emotions yet… I feel I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I do not want to be doing anything else. The money would be nice of course, but nothing can compare to listening to the progress I made on a song from 10 pm to 2 Am the night before and continuing to work the next morning. I guess my thought of this week is having no money is a way to test where your priorities are.   

Song and Lyric of the Week 

“the more money we come across the more problems we see” 

 You guys remember that Biggie Smalls song “Mo Money Mo Problems?” Go to Spotify or youtube or whatever and listen to the song and try not to feel better for a moment. This song brings me ease and a calm nostalgia. I don’t even pay attention to the lyrics if I’m being honest. I’m listening to it right now with a soft smile on my face as I write this post. I now try to find comfort in where I am in life rather than trying to get somewhere to be happy. This is something that older folks have told me for years but I never listened. I’m nowhere near done working towards my dreams, But I’m not counting on my dreams to make me happy. Making music makes me happy so why not be happy. The money will come as long as I continue to plan and be smart about my moves. Like the song says “the more money we come across the more problems we see” (I think that the right lyric? Please correct me if I’m wrong). Not all problems are bad problems to have. I see me having little income as a good problem to have because, with my free time, I can practice, learn, read, and create much more than I ever have been able to in the past. Once I start generating income again, I’m sure I’ll have more problems as I’ll have to pay taxes and pay for even more expensive studio time and whatnot. I can wait to have mo problems. Bring it on! 

Excuse of the week 

It’s cold outside 

Last week I started waking up at 5 AM. I’ve accomplished this two times this week so far and with fewer and fewer complaints. I still have a long way to go however, I’ve already broken some personal records of consistency. I now want to get back into working out but it’s kinda cold outside. I don’t want to get sick from being outside in the cold. 

SERIOUSLY KARI? “it’s coooold outside? Ya don’t wanna get siiiiick.” You don’t complain about the cold when you walk to the deli to get a hero (a large sandwich) and soda and candy and coffee! Work out inside you dope! You bought weights for a reason. Start lifting and squatting from now. Go outside and jump rope for 10 minutes. 10 minutes AIN’T that long KARI! These excuses are making you look weak in front of your readers. Oh, you have not readers? Maybe if you weren’t such a baby about going outside for TEN minutes, you’d have more readers! 

All that being said, I’m getting better though. And that is the most important thing here. 

Blessings of the week 

This week I was blessed with good health, and nutritious food (Ramen with frozen steamed veggies ). I was able to overcome my addiction to sleep two times and wake up at 5 AM. I was blessed this week to be able to reach out to friends about potentially selling custom t-shirts and making my handwriting into a font. My greatest blessing of this week was being able to find comfort in where I am in life. I am 23 years old and not yet where I had imagined being in life, however, I understand God’s plan is bigger than me and my grandest dreams. I am right where I am supposed to be. I am happy.

Works Cited (kinda)

In this post I referenced;

• The Notorious B.I.G. aka Biggie Smalls and his song "Mo Money mo problems" ft. Diddy and Maze

• Miscellaneous- I'm sure I only referenced Biggie in this post, but if I mentioned something else, just be glad you were in the same post as The Notorious B.I.G., to begin with.  Humble ya self

 

Karina A. Harris

Prof. Life

Entry #2

8 January 2021

It's been exactly one month since I turned 23

Thought of the Week 

I think Steve Harvey might have said this at one point or maybe some other bald dude, but I heard that rich people don’t sleep 8 hours a week. 

I have also heard that sleep is for the weak. (Maybe from like, "Sparta" or something IDK. My brothers like to quote A LOT, and I don't care to ask what they're talking about usually so bare with me)

I also hear that when my dad was in the army, he only slept at most 6 hours a day and even then, it wasn’t all at once. What’s my thought of this week? Sleep is overrated. I sleep SO MUCH. I remember back in high school, I was straight KILLING IT. Why?  I didn’t stress about sleep all that much. I slept when I was tired and that’s it. I looked forward to sleeping BECAUSE I was tired from tackling my problems. Now, I sleep to hide from my problems. I’m getting better though. On an average day, I (used to) sleep from about 2 am, to about 4 pm in the afternoon (yes I said 4 pm in the afternoon to stress how bad it was). That’s like 14 hours a day yo! And I still felt exhausted. But it was a weird kind of exhausted. My body hurt, my head was cloudy, and I didn’t care about ANYTHING until about 9:00 at night. Then I got myself up and I worked on music for maybe 3 hours until I convinced myself I can do more tomorrow. Then I’d watch Netflix and turn up until 2 Am. At this point, I would then think “hmm, maybe I’ll wake up early tomorrow and get up by 8 AM!” so now I go to sleep motivated and ready to go; keep in mind it's like 3 am at this point. I set 5 different alarms so I can get up by 8 am.

zzzzzzzzz time passes.

Now it’s 8 am and Depression Kitty is purring on my chest (Big Mouth season 3). (Netflix, please don't sue me. I love your show so much. That’s why I’m referencing “Big Mouth.”) I press snooze every 20 minutes until 1 pm! Let me circle back to that real quick in case you missed the gravity of my situation. I woke up at 8 am! AND I PUSHED SNOOZED EVERY 20 MINUTES UNTIL 1 pm! This happened almost every single day people! At 1 pm I said “eff it” and I hit “dismiss” on my phone and went back to sleep until 4 pm. I’m getting better though. This morning (1/6/2021), I woke up at 5 am! Granted, I stayed awake until about 8 Am then went back to sleep until 1 pm, I still woke up and stayed up. Tomorrow I plan to wake up at 5 am again and try even harder to reach my goals and complete my to-do list. I have an addiction to sleep. But I’m working on it. 

Song and Lyric of the Week 

“I’m going through changes” 

I first heard this lyric in Eminem’s song “Going through Changes” in his Recovery album. Em (and I assume Dr. Dre...BTW, I heard you got sick recently Sir. I am praying for you) used a sample from a 70’s band called Black Sabbath and their song “Changes.” The song struck a chord in my heart way back in 2012. I found it odd that a successful, grown a** man like Em would be going through anything. I felt for Eminem and even came to a realization that everybody goes through changes; even my own parents and adult figures in my life. It was then that I started to realize that “going through it” doesn’t ever really stop. It just gets replaced by something else. It might get replaced by something positive or negative, but I guess that’s the gamble of life. That’s what makes it exciting. You climb over one mountain not knowing if the next mountain you climb is gonna greet you with butterflies and unicorn dust, or if it's gonna suck. The best part was climbing the mountain and look back to say "huh? it wasn't that bad. I mean I survived. I'm here." 

I then heard the same lyric again in 2020 as the opening theme song in “Big Mouth,” a show I really like but do not advise anyone to watch with their parents. I read on the internet that “Big Mouth” used the same song as Eminem, only they used Charles Bradley’s cover instead of the original. Look at that full circle man! When I was 14 and everything started getting weird, I listened to Eminem’s take on the sample and it helped me through the changes I myself was going through. Now that I’m in my 20’s ( and going through a new set of changes), a different version of the song has surfaced and I got to learn that everyone is constantly going through changes. Coincidentally enough I talk about the inevitability of going through changes in life in my song “Going Through it Pt2” (don’t ask about pt 1). This was the first song I ever officially released. This song was done entirely by me (Along with the moral support of my roommates and friends). I did not even send the song to get mastered or anything. I did everything myself production, vocals, lyrics, editing everything. I felt proud of myself (and a little depressed at the time, but mostly proud). I was proud of the song of course, but I am most proud of myself looking back. I almost gave up music. The day I wrote that song, I knew I would never (with the power inside of me and God’s will) ever give up on my music again.

Excuse of the Week 

"I’m tired"

As you read above in “Thought of the week” I’m addicted to sleep. It’s a real thing! I don’t care what anyone says! Sleep is addictive; prove me wrong! My excuse lately has been that I just need more sleep than most people. HA! Wake up, Kari! You are not special, kid! You are a fresh 23-year-old with a goal that millions of other people also want. They aren’t sleeping! Or maybe they are IDK and IDC! Sleeping isn’t going to get you to the studio! Sleeping isn’t going to write your songs! Sleeping isn’t going to promote your songs. You need to do these things and the only way to do them is by being AWAKE! You can sleep when you are actually tired. Not because some stupid depression kitty keeps rubbin up on ya. You are stronger than that! And if you aren’t, then GET stronger. 

Challenge of the Week 

Ok, so this week I decided to wake up at 5 Am every day so I can get out of and away from my addiction to sleep. Honestly, I’ve been low key, killing it! I mean I have yet to stay awake all day but two out of three days I’ve gotten up at 5 and today (1/8/21) I stayed up until 10 am. The first time I only stayed up until 8 Am before I crashed (see the thought of the week). That is called progress people! Next week, I challenge myself to get up and stay up 3 days in a row. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I also challenge you to try something you’ve been sitting on for 3 days in a row as well. Maybe you wanna go to bed before midnight or cook instead of ordering food. Whatever it is, make sure you set yourself up for success and challenge excuses before you are able to use them. For example, before I went to bed last night, I put some food in the crockpot. The catch was that I had to add the beans in two hours before the slow cook ended. I set it up so that at 5 am I needed to get up and out of bed to put the beans in. It worked yo! Let me know how it goes? Or don’t it is your choice. 

Blessings of the Week 

This week I feel blessed to have been able to keep this blog up for two weeks! (not exact;y 7 days apart but I still did it!) I don’t know how many of you are reading this but I feel blessed for you as well. I feel most blessed for being able to wake up at 5 am 2/3 mornings and actually stay up for a moment. I read my book, I did some bible study on my own and I made a plan for my meal prep and cooked it AND ATE IT! I feel blessed to have made it to 2021 with good health and to have made it back home to New York safely with a productive mindset.

 

Cheers,

theStud3nt

 

 

 

---

 

Works Cited (kinda)

In this post, I referenced:

• Depression Kitty from "Big Mouth," a show on Netflix created by Nick Kroll and others.
• Black Sabbath, a 70's band, and their song "Changes"
• Eminem and Dr. Dre who I hope is feeling better after getting sick recently
• Steve Harvey or some other bald guy
• Sparta, a movie I think (again I really didn't care to ask)
• Miscellaneous, if I missed something it's cuz I'm lazy, not evil.

 

If you want to learn more about the things I referenced then look it up using Google or Bing or something. I'm trying out this Works Cited thing this week and it might not ever make a comeback. Ok good talk.